Full-Length Play

Are all city dwellers damaged? 

Jeremy Fletcher, a white journalist desperate to find a good story that will save his career, thinks he's found it when he encounters Celia Watts, a homeless black woman who claims to be the daughter of a famous white actress. For her part, Celia is worn out by life on the street and thinks Jeremy may offer a way out. Both characters are struggling  from the lingering effects of parental betrayals and subtle forms of child abuse. But how much deception and manipulation will it take for each of them to get what they want?

Full script available at the National New Play Network's New Play Exchange (NPX). Click here.

Or see EXCERPT below.

LENGTH: 2 hours

CAST: 3M, 2F 

SETTING

New York City

TIME

Spring 2018

CHARACTERS

Jeremy Fletcher. Male. 33. European American. Gay. A journalist.

Celia Watts. Female. 31. African American. Currently homeless.

Garrett Lucas. Male. 35. An race or ethnicity. A street hustler.

Linda Morrow. Female. 57. European American. A successful stage and screen actress.

Shane Simmons. Male. 32. 

HONOR

2023: SEMI-FINALIST, Title Wave, Bay Street Theater, San Harbor, NY.

2020: FINALIST, Lance Hewitt Reading Series, Isle of Shoals, New York City.

EXCERPT:

ACT ONE

Scene 1:  

VOICEOVER

Our next Story Slam presenter was born and raised in New York City and currently lives in Manhattan’s Chelsea neighborhood. Ladies and gentlemen-- give it up for Jeremy Fletcher!

Spotlight up on JEREMY’s microphone. There will be five spotlights in this play, one for each actor. The spotlights are used only when indicated. JEREMY’s spotlight is at center stage. JEREMY enters. Approaches his mic. Takes a deep breath. Finally—

JEREMY

My father died. 

(taking in the audience’s reaction)

No--wait! Don’t feel sorry for me--but none of this would have happened if he hadn’t died. You see, my father— he— 

(beat)

God! Do you hate talking about your father, too? . . .  Scratch that! . . . It’s an April evening. I’m rushing to the Atlantic Theater Company on West 20^th Street-- two blocks from where I live. Someone special’s starring in a play—and someone really special’s going with me. And then this happens.

Spotlight off. JEREMY moves downstage. His phone rings. He accepts the call.

JEREMY (CONT’D)

(into his phone—brightly)

Hey, Stud! I’ll be there in three—make that two minutes. 

Lights up on SHANE.  

SHANE

(into his phone)

Uh, Jeremy, I know this is very last minute, but I can’t go with you tonight. Something’s come up.

JEREMY

What? What’s come up?

(to the audience)

Don’t ever do that! If they want to tell you, they’ll tell you. This just makes them lie.

SHANE

It sucks. I’m so sorry.

JEREMY

(to the audience)

Can you believe that? He didn’t even try to lie!

(into the phone)

No, no, that’s all right. I understand. 

SHANE

I’ll pay you for my ticket.

JEREMY

No, no, I’ll try to sell it at the theater. Is something the matter?

SHANE

Well, okay, since you asked— 

(suddenly colder)

I still can’t forgive you for what you did. 

JEREMY

You mean that article? My father taught me to write things that will help people.  

SHANE

He taught you to betray your boyfriend? 

JEREMY

I have a responsibility as a journalist to report on these things. 

SHANE

If my boss ever discovers I was your source, I’ll lose my job!

JEREMY

Let’s hope he doesn’t. But if he does, you’ll find another. 

SHANE

That’s not for you to decide, asshole!

JEREMY

You’re right! Of course, you’re right. And I’m sorry—but you and all the other researchers at that law firm were being exploited. Someone had to blow the whistle.

SHANE

So, where’s your Pulitzer Prize, Mr. Big Time Journalist? All I see is one damaged relationship. And didn’t your magazine get sued?

JEREMY

They started paying you overtime, didn’t they?

SHANE

Okay, yes. Your article did some good.

JEREMY

That’s all that matters.

SHANE

To you maybe.

(almost to himself)

I can’t believe I fell in love with you.

Lights down on SHANE. 

JEREMY (CONT’D)

Hello? . . . Hello? 

(looking at the phone)

Shit!

(to the audience)

I don’t understand. Is he in love with me? Or is he dumping me? 

(looking at his watch)

Wait—I’ve gotta go sell his ticket.

JEREMY crosses the stage. GARRETT and CELIA enter from the opposite direction. GARRETT carries a plastic grocery bag. When they reach JEREMY, they separate and walk on either side of him. GARRETT bumps into JEREMY. A second later the bag drops and smashes on the ground. Red liquid oozes from the bag.

GARRETT

Man, look what you did!

JEREMY

Oh, hey, I’m sorry. 

GARRETT

(angry)

You gotta pay me, man! 

(indicating CELIA)

That was a special bottle of wine for my wife! 

JEREMY

I’m sorry. It was just an accident.

JEREMY turns. Resumes walking.

GARRETT

What’s the matter wit you?

CELIA

(imploring—in a street dialect)

That was for our anniversary, man! 

JEREMY pauses. Turns toward them.

JEREMY

I’m sorry—I know that sucks, but it was just an accident. 

JEREMY resumes walking away.

GARRETT

Shit, man, you can’t just walk away!

CELIA

Back off, Garrett. I’ll handle this.

CELIA runs after JEREMY. 

CELIA (CONT’D)

(sweetly and sincerely)

You gotta make this right, mister. It’s a big night for us. How ’bout we split it fifty-fifty?

[Note: When Celia first appears, she speaks in a strange street dialect. Later on, the audience will discover that she is a well-educated woman and has put on this dialect as a strategy for survival on the streets. The dialect is a combination of how she’s heard other people around her speak and how she imagines street hustlers speak.] 

JEREMY

I’m very sorry. I hope you have a very happy anniversary.

JEREMY turns and walks away decisively. 

CELIA

(crying out)

Don’t you have a heart?

JEREMY stops. A new attitude.

JEREMY

Wait a second. I know what’s going on here. He bumped into me, not the other way around. But then you made me question it, and I wasn’t sure anymore.

CELIA

So, let’s just split it fifty-fifty.

JEREMY

When I was in Paris, the guidebooks warned me about con artists like you, so when a guy tried to pull the gold ring scam on me, I was ready. But here in my own neighborhood? I can’t believe I almost fell for it! 

CELIA

What you talkin’ ’bout? I never been to Paris. I never been outta this city.

JEREMY

You’re lucky I don’t call the cops.

GARRETT approaches.

GARRETT

He pay or not? 

CELIA

Get outta here! He’s callin’ the pigs. I’ll meet you at Sal’s.

GARRETT

I ain’t leaving without you.

CELIA

Quick! You can’t get caught again! Just go!

GARRETT

All right. See you at Sal’s. Love ya, baby.

GARRETT kisses CELIA.

JEREMY

(sarcastically)

Don’t you mean, “Happy anniversary, baby”?

GARRETT

You messin with me?

CELIA

Just go, Garrett!

GARRETT leaves.

JEREMY

So, Garrett put you up to this?

CELIA

At least he not out stealin’.

JEREMY

Isn’t that exactly what he’s doing?

CELIA

You still got your wallet, right? You still got all your possessions.

JEREMY

But what about my dignity?

(beat)

I’m messin’ with you.

CELIA

(defeated)

God, why is everything so hard? What we gonna do, man? How we gonna eat?

JEREMY

Are you homeless?

CELIA

Hell, no! Me and Garrett got a place. Well, it’s Sal’s place. Lots a people comin’ through at night. I don’t ask.

JEREMY

Is he really your husband?

CELIA

None a your fuckin’ bizness! 

(beat)

Everyone’s gotta be with someone, right? He got lotta good ideas. 

JEREMY

I hope you don’t think that bottle idea’s a good one.

CELIA

It work sweet up in Times Square! I told him it wouldn’t be workin’ down here. 

JEREMY

I’ve gotta go. If you want my advice, stay away from Garrett. 

CELIA

Hey, could you give me a coupla bucks soze I can get somethin’ to eat.

JEREMY

Would you have to split it with him? 

CELIA

Never mind. 

JEREMY

Have a good night.

JEREMY starts to walk away.

CELIA

(calling out)

Hey, mister—what’s the gold ring scam? I don’t know that one.

JEREMY

Sorry, I really gotta go.  

(wavering—finally can’t help himself)

Okay, quickly—here’s how it goes.

JEREMY bends down. Picks up an imaginary gold ring from the ground.

JEREMY (CONT’D)

(in character—to CELIA)

Hey, ma’am! I think you dropped your ring. You sure? Well, someone dropped it. 

JEREMY examines the ring.

JEREMY (CONT’D)

It’s a nice-lookin’ one, too! Look—it says 18 carats. I can’t use it. I’ll sell it to you for—I don’t know—how about 10 bucks?

CELIA

That’s pretty lame.

JEREMY

(no longer in character)

People fall for it all the time. They think they’re getting a great deal—till they find out the ring’s a fake.  

CELIA

I don’t know. I don’t really get it.

JEREMY

Well, anyway, I gotta go. 

CELIA

Wait—after all this, you really not gonna give me no money? I’m in a really bad way.

JEREMY

Sorry.

(a bright idea—reaching into his pocket)

But hey—how about this? I’ve got an extra theater ticket. Take it! 

CELIA

I don’t go to the theater!

JEREMY

(a pronouncement—joking)

See—that’s the problem with the theater today!

(more seriously)

No, I mean sell it. Keep the money. Linda Morrow’s in this play. It’s a hot ticket.

CELIA

(momentarily impressed)

Linda Morrow?

(scornfully)

Never hearda her.

JEREMY

Seriously? She’s a really big deal! But you gotta act fast. Once the show starts, it won’t be worth anything.

CELIA

I don’t know. I just want some food.

JEREMY

So, sell it! Look—the theater’s right on this block. 

CELIA

Hey—what’s your name?

JEREMY

Jeremy.

CELIA

Your last name.

JEREMY

Sorry, I don’t give that out to strangers. 

CELIA

Well, I’m Celia Watts, and I don’t care who knows it. Thanks for the ticket, Jeremy No Name.

JEREMY

Good luck.

JEREMY exits in a hurry. CELIA stares at the ticket. 

END OF SCENE