Full-Length Play

"America's most important playwright" faces a crisis in both his career and his marriage. 

Playwright Owen Griffith erupts when a cable TV interviewer prods him to defend his well-known belief in open relationships, and the video goes viral. When he and wife Valerie discuss the video with friends Norbert and Janine, Norbert brags about the "fidelity clause" included in their pre-nuptial agreement. Soon both marriages fall apart; Owen gets involved with Janine and suddenly becomes a proponent of fidelity; Norbert tries to win Janine back; and Valerie seeks companionship on a surprising place. In the end, Owen's relationship bliss is tempered when Janine's past starts to catch up with her, and his newfound commitment is put to a test. 

Full script available at the National New Play Network's New Play Exchange (NPX). Click here.

Or see EXCERPT below.

LENGTH: 1 hour 50 minutes (plus intermission)

CAST: 3M, 3F (9 characters) 

SETTING

After an opening scene in Cleveland, OH, the play takes place entirely in Manhattan. 

TIME

2014 and beyond.

CHARACTERS

Owen Griffith. Male. 45. Playwright. Self-involved, pompous, and oversexed. Married to Valerie.

Valerie Clarkson. Female. 55. International management consultant. Wealthy, witty, and generous. Married to Owen.

Norbert Metz. Male. 42. Lawyer. Competitive and punitive, but sometimes generous. Married to Janine. 

Janine Fiorato. Female. 40. Owner of a corporate public relations firm. Practical, sexy, and a little calculating. Married to Norbert.

Linda. Female. 37. Owen's mistress. Jittery, stressed-out, and sexually needy.

Interviewer. Male. Cable TV show host. Dense and obnoxious.

Gretchen. Female. 32. Guest at party. Attractive and flirtatious. A fan of Owen's.

Bobby. Male. 33. An actor. Hunky and flirtatious. Gretchen's cousin.

Josh. Male. Waiter. Solicitous and observant. 

PRODUCTION HISTORY

2017: PUBLICATION: The Eddy Theater, an online subscription service. 

2017: READING, Unitarian Universalist Congregation at Shelter Rock, Manhasset, NY.

DEVELOPMENT HISTORY

The genesis of THE FIDELITY CLAUSE was a 10-minute play, THE BRAZILIAN DILEMMA (First Prize, McLean Drama Company, Washington DC, 2013; produced by The Collective NY, 2013 & 2015; published by The Collective NY, 2013), which was then produced as a film by Collective NY Films, screenplay by William Ivor Fowkes, (released on Amazon Prime Video, February 2019). The full-length play was developed at the Pulse Ensemble Theatre Playwrights' Lab in New York. A short excerpt, titled COFFEE BREAK, was presented in a podcast by Panglossian Productions, Williamsburg, VA, 2018, and in a staged reading at TAKE TEN: An Evening of 10-Minute Plays by the DGPG Writers at The Players Club, 2018. Another short excerpt, titled AN UBER IN THE RAIN, was presented in Zoom Productions by Turn Point Theatre, UK, 2020, and Anytime Players Ensemble, USA, 2021. 

EXCERPT:

ACT ONE

Scene 1: 2014. A cable TV studio in Cleveland, Ohio. A banner or projection displays a TV show logo: “CLEVELAND ARTS TALK. Exclusively on Cleveland Cable.”

OWEN and the INTERVIEWER sit on chairs and wear clip-on mikes. An interview is in progress. 

OWEN

(laughing)

And despite all that, it still went on to win the Tony!

INTERVIEWER

(laughing)

Wow! Very funny story! Now, let’s talk about your latest play, The Philanderer’s Commitment—provocative title, by the way. It got gushing reviews at Playwrights’ Horizons in New York and Steppenwolf in Chicago. 

OWEN

(with false modesty)

So, I’ve heard.

INTERVIEWER

But, alas, that’s no guarantee we’ll take to it here, is it? You make a rather bold assertion in this play, don’t you, Owen? You say that, in the future, everyone will think it’s natural to have affairs—healthy even—and all hell will break loose!

OWEN

I’m not making predictions. I’m simply exploring possibilities.

INTERVIEWER

But do you think the audience here at the Cleveland Play House is ready for such possibilities?

OWEN

I don’t write for the audience in Cleveland—or anywhere else, for that matter. 

INTERVIEWER

Careful, Owen! Can you really afford to take your audience for granted in this day and age?

OWEN

I’m not some market researcher trying to figure out what the public will buy. I write from the heart.  

INTERVIEWER

(patronizing)

But with the market for plays shrinking faster than the glaciers, shouldn’t playwrights care about what the audience wants?  

OWEN

(imitating the interviewer)

Shouldn’t you be encouraging your viewers to attend more theater rather than sounding its death knell?  

INTERVIEWER

(suddenly giddy)

Ah, yes! Touché. Touché. Owen Griffith always gets right to the heart of the matter, doesn’t he? That’s why he’s America’s most important playwright.

OWEN

Let’s not go there.

INTERVIEWER

Okay, then let me ask you this—do you cheat on your wife? 

OWEN

(getting upset)

There’s no need to drag my wife into this discussion!

INTERVIEWER

I think you already dragged her in by telling everyone to go out and cheat.

OWEN

That’s not what I’m saying.

INTERVIEWER

I think the audience will be the judge of that.

OWEN

Look, I just think we place too much of a premium on marital fidelity. Think of all the careers and reputations that have been destroyed just because someone strayed outside their marriage. The celebrity rags are filled with this.

INTERVIEWER

(to the audience)

NEWS BULLETIN: Owen Griffith reads the celebrity rags!

OWEN

You’re missing my point. Our attraction to other people doesn’t stop once we enter into a long-term relationship. I’m just saying there’s nothing wrong with that—we’re sexual creatures!

INTERVIEWER

But how is society supposed to function if everything turns into one big orgy? That’s what your play seems to be recommending.

OWEN

(getting frustrated)

I’m just asking—is there a better way than insisting on complete fidelity on the part of one’s spouse?

INTERVIEWER

(triumphantly)

So, you do cheat on your wife!

OWEN rips off his microphone. Throws it on the floor. Jumps up on his chair.

OWEN

(letting loose)

Okay, you want to get personal? I’ll get personal! My wife and I have an open relationship! Hear that, Cleveland? We screw around, and we like it! But it’s our choice and none of your goddamn business! So, get over it! 

(to the Interviewer)

Now, why don’t you tell us all the intimate details of your private life? Do you still sleep with your wife? Or do you prefer your dog? You pathetic little shit!  

OWEN storms out.

INTERVIEWER

(to the audience—excitedly)

This is going to be huge on YouTube!

END OF SCENE

Scene 2: A restaurant in Manhattan. A few weeks later.

VALERIE and JANINE are seated at a table with four chairs, two bottles of wine, and various half-filled glasses. JANINE stares longingly at the desserts at the other two places. 

JANINE

It’s not fair that men get to order dessert while we pretend we don’t want any.

VALERIE

Have some of Norbert’s. 

JANINE

No, I hate having to lie to my nutritionist.

VALERIE

A nutritionist? Business must be good.

JANINE

Well, I can’t complain. 

VALERIE

When I think how far you’ve come with that firm—well, I bet it would make a great Harvard Business School case study.

JANINE

If you hadn’t been my first client, there wouldn’t be any firm. 

VALERIE

I know how to spot talent, that’s all.

JANINE

Seriously, you’ve been the most important person in my life—well, maybe after Norbert. First as my client, then as my best friend—you’ve always been there for me. 

VALERIE

I love you, too.

JANINE

(looking around)

Should we just pay the check and leave?

VALERIE

Better yet—let’s not pay the check and leave.  

VALERIE and JANINE get up. 

VALERIE (CONT’D)

(defeated)

Oh, on second thought—I don’t want to upset Owen. 

VALERIE sits back down.

JANINE

(sitting)

Why are you always so deferential to him?

VALERIE

I’m not deferential. I just don’t like to make waves. Owen can be a little touchy sometimes.

JANINE

Really? He’s always so nice. Owen’s a pussycat compared to Norbert. 

VALERIE

Believe me, his claws come out when we’re alone. I don’t know what I’m saying. It’s just the way it’s always been with us. He was the catch—and I was the older woman. Well, slightly older anyway. It’s just the price I have to pay.

NORBERT and OWEN enter. 

JANINE

Finally! 

VALERIE

We thought you’d abandoned us!

OWEN

(to Valerie)

Since when is it a crime to go to the men’s room? 

NORBERT

(to Janine)

I had to go outside and make a call.

JANINE

Norbert, we agreed not to do that when we’re at dinner. Who’d you have to call?

NORBERT and OWEN sit.

NORBERT

(guiltily)

Nobody—just a work thing.

OWEN

(spotting one of the bottles of wine)

Ah, good—they brought the Vinho Verde!

NORBERT

(annoyed)

What—you didn’t like the Sauvignon Blanc I ordered? It was from Wales!

VALERIE

No, I did! I, uh—well, I guess I’m just not in the mood for something that dry.

OWEN

Valerie, he can handle the truth. Norbert, it was a very nice gesture to order a wine from my parents’ homeland, but, by unanimous vote, we decided that this particular wine was unacceptable. No, I’m being too nice—it was completely putrid. 

NORBERT

Janine, were you part of this mutiny?

JANINE

I’m sorry, Norry. My marriage vows didn’t say anything about agreeing with your wine selections.

NORBERT

You don’t have to drink it. 

OWEN

That was the point of the vote.

NORBERT

You’re just a bunch of eastern snobs. Believe me, people are a lot more open to new things out in California.

VALERIE

Oh, I doubt California has started embracing Welsh wines. 

JANINE

Norry’s been spending a lot of time in San Francisco working on a case.

NORBERT

I’m a totally different person when I’m out there!

VALERIE

What does that mean exactly? You’re too late to be a hippie. And you’re certainly not a rich computer nerd.

JANINE

No, but his firm’s swamped with business from those rich computer nerds. That’s why he’s out there.

OWEN offers the bottle of Vinho Verde to NORBERT.

OWEN

Here, Norbert—try it. It’s from Portugal.

NORBERT

I’m perfectly happy with my original selection.

OWEN

Your loss.

VALERIE

That must be hard on you, Janine—being left alone like that.

JANINE

You’re on the road much more than Norbert. How do you and Owen handle it?

OWEN

Who says we handle it? 

VALERIE

We’ve been doing it for ten years, and you’ve never complained.

OWEN

I complain all the time. My parents never spend a night apart from each other.

VALERIE

(to Norbert and Janine)

They dress alike, too.

OWEN

Spare my parents, will you?

VALERIE

Owen refuses to admit that Morgan and Tegwyn have major codependency issues.

NORBERT

Janine isn’t unhappy. She knows I love her even if I’m 3000 miles away.

VALERIE

Exactly. And Owen knows I love him, too.

JANINE

But doesn’t it drive you crazy when you can’t sleep together? 

VALERIE

Trust me—you’ll get used to it. 

NORBERT’s phone rings. NORBERT checks the number. Starts to leave.

NORBERT

I’ve gotta take this. 

JANINE

Norry!

NORBERT sits back down. 

NORBERT

Okay, I’ll just text. 

NORBERT starts to text. JANINE grabs his dessert. 

JANINE

Well, then I’m taking this!

(to Valerie—while eating)

So, how do you guys make it work?

VALERIE

It’s called, “Don’t ask, don’t tell”—remember that? The only way to make a long-distance relationship work is to practice willing suspension of curiosity. 

NORBERT looks up from his texting.

NORBERT

Hold it right there, Valerie. We all saw that interview with Owen. We know you two cheat and screw around like rabbits, but— 

OWEN

You hold it right there—we don’t cheat! We’re both very open about what we do. Nobody’s getting hurt.

NORBERT

You’re deluded. I’d never dream of taking advantage of Janine while I’m out there. And I know she wouldn’t either.

JANINE

Well, even if I wanted to, my job keeps me too busy.

NORBERT

But you don’t want to, right?

JANINE

(mock seriously)

No, of course not.

NORBERT

And to prove our commitment, we added a fidelity clause to our pre-nuptial agreement.  

OWEN

A what? 

NORBERT

A fidelity clause. 

OWEN

Didn’t your wedding vows already cover that?

JANINE

No comment.

NORBERT

They don’t spell out the consequences of infidelity.

VALERIE

I think the consequences are called divorce.

NORBERT

Yeah, but what kind of divorce? The fidelity clause makes it very clear that if I ever catch Janine cheating on me, she’ll have to sacrifice everything.

VALERIE

What a romantic gesture! Did you hire a mariachi band to serenade the signing? 

OWEN

And I assume the clause works both ways?

NORBERT

No, I drafted it just for Janine. Think of it as her trousseau.

OWEN

Let me get this straight. Janine has to agree to be faithful or suffer major consequences, but you’re off the hook?

NORBERT

I felt I was justified in her case.

OWEN

Why, because she’s an attractive and desirable woman while you’re an ugly slob?

VALERIE

Owen!

JANINE

Guys, don’t waste your breath. Norry likes leverage. I let him have what he wanted because I’m not that small.

NORBERT

Can we please change the subject?

JANINE

(sipping the new wine)

Actually, Norry, I hate to say it, but the Portuguese wine is much better.

NORBERT

Benedict Arnold!

JANINE looks at OWEN’s dessert.

JANINE

Are you planning to eat that?

OWEN hands his dessert to JANINE.

OWEN

Be my guest.

JANINE

Thanks.

(digging into Owen’s dessert enthusiastically)

Say, Owen, when are you gonna have another play in New York?

VALERIE

He just had The Philanderer’s Commitment at Playwrights’ Horizons!

OWEN

You know—the one I was trying to discuss with that idiot out in Cleveland. 

VALERIE

A fabulous play!

JANINE

Sorry we missed it. Once again, I couldn’t get Norry to go.

NORBERT

I don’t do Off Broadway. 

OWEN

Well, since you’ve never been to any of my plays, you obviously don’t do Broadway either. 

NORBERT

Theater’s just never been my thing. 

OWEN

But if the theater can’t attract people like you, what hope do we have?   

NORBERT

Try adding cup holders to the seats.

JANINE

Actually, I did manage to get Norry to see your last play on Broadway. 

OWEN

Oh? You never mentioned it.

JANINE

Because we had an argument about it. I loved it!

NORBERT

I think I know the problem with your plays.  

VALERIE

There’s no problem with his plays! 

NORBERT

Where are the big stars? If I’m gonna pay those prices, I better see Leonardo DiCaprio and Angelina Jolie—and they better be naked.

VALERIE

His last play on Broadway had absolutely no names in it, and it won a Drama Desk Award, a Drama League Award, and an Outer Critics Circle Award! 

NORBERT

See—it didn’t win a Tony! 

OWEN

I don’t care about awards.

VALERIE

Well, I do—and we have a bookcase full of them!  

NORBERT

Okay, okay! I’ll go see his next Broadway play.

OWEN

Well, actually, there may not be another one. 

NORBERT

You mean you may have to go out and get a real job?

OWEN

No, I mean serious writers don’t expect—or want—to see their work on Broadway anymore. Like my last one—it was too strange for Broadway, but the nonprofits and regional theaters ate it up!

VALERIE

And he’s already working on his next play.

JANINE

How exciting! What’s it about?

OWEN

I’m trying to stage David Hume’s Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion. You ever read that in college? It may not work—I mean it’s a lot of talk with absolutely no action—but I’ve decided to give it a shot.

NORBERT

I think we’ll skip that one.

OWEN

(joking)

Even if I get them to provide cup holders?

(revving up—brightening at an idea)

Or how about—? Yeah, I’ve got it! I’ve just come up with an idea for another play after I finish the one on Hume. And you’re the inspiration.

JANINE

(excited)

Really?

OWEN

Right, it’s going to be the story of a paranoid lawyer with bad taste in wine—my first straight-out sex farce. 

VALERIE

That’s not funny.

OWEN

I’m going to call it The Fidelity Clause.

NORBERT

You do, and I’ll sue you!

END OF SCENE